Watching Star Wars

My expectations for Star Wars stories have become so low, I did not realise the promo video for the Lord Vader was fake. My son pointed out it was a fan-made concept trailer. Mashups, homages, infantilization and CGI revivals of dead actors have made it difficult to be a fan of the streaming pile of content from a galaxy far, far away.

The last three Star Wars films inflicted more damage on the brand than the Death Star could. You can close your eyes Skywalker style, but Star Wars never dies, as you search for a new hope it will get better.

Christmas brings back childhood memories of watching the original trilogy and playing with the toys. Curating my own adventures in my imagination, turning my family home and garden into my fantasy world. Films created the universe. The toys kept it alive in our homes.

Only as I aged did I become interested in the business side. George Lucas reduced his directing fee from $500,000 to $150,000 in exchange for sequel and merchandising rights, making $100M toy sales in first two years. So much money but I would have spent most of it on buying toys to play civilization in the stars. Memories can be worth more.

Now, instead of memories, I can create Star Wars videos after Disney and OpenAI made a deal to allow creators to use over 200 Disney, Marvel, Pixar, and Star Wars characters in user‑generated content. But this excludes actor likenesses and voices, meaning masked characters and bad impressions of Darth Vader, Boba Fett and Jabba. After reading The Economist article AI is upending the porn industry, I fear what direction the Max Rebo Band will be taking.

The Star Wars Films

The original trilogy is great, the prequels have highs like Darth Maul, psycho adolescent Anakin, good action scenes and making it okay for older women to fall in love with much younger men. The slaughtering of the younglings is sad but such tragedies happen in war. I might not have watched the sequels if the pandemic had not trapped me inside. I paid my respects to Carrie Fisher à la Princess Leia as she sacrificed herself for the fight against the empire. I doubt any of the stars from the sequels will be watching them this Christmas.

Rogue One is a fans’ favourite and gave birth to the excellent TV series Andor. It has been described as a mediative experience for chilling out. A moving art installation where spaceships, characters and landscapes drift through your mind. While the script and storytelling have been criticised, it excels in characterising background figures such as the rebels, bandits, Death Troopers, Shoretroopers and Sandtroopers with the final battle a cinematic treat.

The Battle for Endor was misunderstood and Ewoks must be cheesed off they have not been given a spinoff TV series. I liked the young Han Solo film and it could have been a prelude to a series like The Chronicles of Young Indiana Jones. I would rather watch Chewbacca do his version of Tom Hanks in Castaway than endure The Mandalorian & Grogu, arriving in 2026. The Starfighter film with Ryan Gosling is in development, described as a standalone story to distance it from the last trilogy of Star Wars films.

The Best Star Wars TV Series

Andor is the best but there was a long gap between the first and second season because of the writers’ and actors’ strikes. I could only remember snippets of the first season such as the prison escape and the Rix Road attack where Syril rescues Dedra Meero. Happy ever after does not exist for people in this galaxy, but it never feels dreary or without hope.

I understood the story and believed in the cause against the empire even though I favoured their characters over the rebels. Diego Luna has the acting ability to carry the show while being part of an ensemble cast. The wedding dance was awesome and showed the incredible pressure Mon Mothma lived under. You can feel the tension in the air and the rebel alliance is a militant force that pulls no punches. I was surprised to read in Empire the Rogue One director Gareth Edwards has not watched Andor. Just remember the rebels smile and the empire frown.

Rating The Rest

The Clone Wars animated TV series is very good. You might not watch it as an adult but if your kids are watching it, you will soon not want to miss an episode. You will want to miss the Clone Wars film which is rubbish. The Bad Batch is for six-year-olds and we gave up after a few episodes. Some of the Lego Star Wars episodes are funny, reminding me of Saturday morning TV in the 80s.

The Mandalorian started off well with the actor Pedro Pascal sharing his role with two other actors. By Season 3, Pascal was mostly absent physically, with directors confirming he often pre‑records his lines and the doubles perform the on‑set work. I gave up before that as it seemed to be at CBeebies level. The Book of Boba Fett is better although he seems to be a crime lord assassin who never does anything that bad. There is a complete lack of jeopardy in both shows.

The Acolyte was good and was undeservedly axed. Ahsoka is a great example of a TV show designed for people looking at their phones. It’s strange because the acting is good and General Thrawn deserves far better than the zombie storm troopers who are even worse than their living brethren.

Obi Wan is completely unnecessary, serving no purpose as you know that Obi Wan and Darth Vader will survive until Star Wars.